Moving to a New Country Alone

I’ve really needed an outlet to express my thoughts and feelings about moving to a new city and country by myself. I’m not sure why it took me so long to get here, but here I am.

It has officially been two weeks since I moved back to Australia. 2 weeks in Adelaide, 1.5 weeks in an Airbnb, 1 weekend in a hotel and 1 night in my new house.

When I first got here, I had a hard time. More than I thought I would. I had predicted what it would feel like to wake up on the first day here and feel the void of friends, work, family and stability. And I did feel that, in a really hard way. What made it worse is that I was also heartbroken. I was simultaneously comprehending a relationship that was not what I thought it was with a person who was not who I thought they were. And that on top of moving all the way across the world was more than I had ever handled in my life I think.

People, along with myself, kept telling me that everything that was happening had to be happening. I had a fresh start. I knew in my gut that on the other side of this phase is where I had been working so hard to be. But that all sounds like bullshit when you feel pain. And it felt like the worst thing in the world. But those feelings, all of those feelings only lasted 5 days. They have since phased out with every step I have taken in this move.

I caught myself reminding myself why and how I ended up here in the first place. I kept going over it in my head: I don’t want to live in the U.S. I love living in Australia. Adelaide has everything I am looking for in a place to live. I will meet new people. I will make new friends.

But when you move alone and with two suitcases, all of those things come after finding a home, buying a car, getting used to driving on the other side of the road again, looking for a job, finding a place I want to work for someone who wants to hire me, becoming familiar with my surroundings, finding a new workout routine. Nothing else can come after those things. So, I have rushed along with all of these tasks because I want to get to the other side so badly. If anyone else has done this, you know what this feels like. And the messages I get from people expressing that reminds me there is a reason I have put myself through this.

But

PPe